One Asteroid Among So Many Others

I got in!

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 03:52:37 GMT

Oh my gods! I got accepted to the Academy of the Spheres!

:::hyperventilates:::

This is so splash I don't even know where to begin!

Okay, so it's conditional, but still! All I have to do is keep up my grades and pass all my advanced classes with distinction before the end of the year and I'm in!

I have to go tell Mom!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

Dear gods...

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 12:35:35 GMT

Okay, I know it's a sign he's healthy and all that, but will that baby not stop crying for one minute?

Merciful gods... I don't know how Mom puts up with it. He sleeps all day and then screams all night. Since when are babies nocturnal?

It's a good thing I don't have school or gymnastics practice, or I'd be a complete zombie.

I'm going to try to get some sleep, preferably in the room furthest away from Mom and Magnus.

Oh, and adults really are idiots when it comes to babies. It is not that adorable to belch, vomit or otherwise expel bodily fluids. It's just gross. I'm not sure when they lost sight of that, but apparently three grown people did, somewhere over the course of the past few days.

*sigh*

I didn't mean it...

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 12:18:33 GMT

Poor Vin.

He was a total scumbag, but I didn't mean it when I said he deserved what he got. I said I didn't want him to die, and I meant that.

I hope they get whoever did it.

The good news is...

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 03:39:15 GMT

Magnus Geoffrey Bhayani was born today at 5:30 or thereabouts (I'll have to get the exact time from the doctor), and is hale and well (with a healthy pair of lungs on him to boot).

Revelation of the day: Isidorus does much better dealing with wars and blood than with women in labour, especially when the woman in question is his wife. If he and Mom ever have another kid, I think the shock will kill him. :P

Mom's resting now, and I think we're all going to take turns on the night watch except for Isidorus, who's pretty exhausted after being awake for almost a week straight during the EurMil counter-strike.

I really wish Fleur-Ange would give me some sort of sign that she's come through this all right. Same for Xavier, but I'm less worried about him. He's proved more than once that he's tougher and more resourceful than even those who know him best think.

Going to go take a nap now. If I understood this process properly, Magnus is going to be either hungry or needing a diaper change whenever he's not sleeping, so we've got our work cut out for us for the next few days until things settle into a routine.

I can't believe it...

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 06:48:40 GMT

Oh, gods...

They killed Ric.

Oh, Ric, I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve this...

Some internal monologue...

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 19:49:54 GMT

Some internal monologue as Margot and Faraz make their way through the maze of air vents in H-Hab. I figured she won't have time to stop and update her fib all the time. ^_-

This isn't working out as well as I planned. Well, if you can call it planning. I almost wish I'd gone with Venceslau earlier, except that I think we'd all have gotten ourselves killed.

I know Faraz isn't thrilled with this. He thinks I'm completely frooked, and maybe I am, except that I really feel like I need to be doing something, anything to help. He wants to stay with me, but I think he'd rather stay with me somewhere safe and out of harm's way. I suppose he isn't wrong, in a sense. We're both kids, and probably way out of our league here, but I just can't sit on my hands and do nothing. I just can't.

I'm not about to run headlong into the raggies' rifles, though. I'm not suicidal, either. I just want to help. I wish Faraz could see that, instead of just emanating worry at me. It would help not to have to worry about him all the time as well. I don't want to drag him into danger that he doesn't really want to face. I don't want him to do this just for me. If he got hurt and it was my fault, I'd never forgive myself.

...

Dear gods... I hope I'm not lost. I know the way to Fleur-Ange's place, I know I do. I just hope that I know my way there through the vents...

Oh gods!

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 16:32:23 GMT

I completely forgot about Fleur-Ange! She's all alone in the middle of all this chaos with no one to take care of her.

Shitshitshitshitshit!

We have to go find her.

I hope I can get us there mostly without having to go outside.

I hope she's still outside. Maybe I can fib her.

Shitshitshitshitshit!

This retches.

I hope Faraz will be okay with this...

This isn't really how I pictured things happening...

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 04:02:05 GMT

The Europeans have invaded, and Faraz and I are stuck in H-Hab. I think he's more scared than I am, and I'm not sure if I should be more worried that he's scared or that I'm not more scared than I am. Maybe there's something wrong with me for being so calm about this.

I wish I knew what happened to Venceslau and everyone else, though. A rabble against an organized military? Unless they outnumbered the enemy three or four to one and caught them by surprise, or something, they didn't stand a chance. I wish, I hope, it'll turn out to be different, but I just don't see it. I wish I knew where Xavier was.

It sucks having to be responsible for someone else. If I were alone I don't think I would have hesitated to go off with them and help them, but with Faraz, well, I couldn't really put him at risk, could I? Besides, what could I do? I know nothing about fighting.

...

Margot interrupts the fib for a few moments for an incoming message.

Okay, that was Mom. We've been trying to get ahold of each other all afternoon. All Zoster transport is down, and there's no way for us to get anywhere from H-Hab, except maybe to A-Hab, so maybe we can get to our old apartment, which'll be safer and better than this hole-in-the wall in terms of comfort. So that's not too bad.

I keep thinking that I should be doing something, anything. Just more than running and hiding. Maybe, if I find Xavier, he can tell me if they're setting up makeshift hospitals and I can help out there.

They're here!

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 03:54:27 GMT

Take that, you raggie bastards! The Europeans are going to kick your sorry behinds right back to First Sphere faster than you can say "moebiated Torus!"

Hee!

And no, I'm NOT filtering this entry either, goddammit! Do your worst! If you have nothing better to do than monitor the journal entries of a fourteen-year-old when you're in the middle of a war, then you have your priorities seriously fucked up, you hear me?

I don't care if Admiral Kiemlen looks like he was born about three hundred years before Ambassador Frankwurter, or whatever his name is. I bet there are lots of younger guys in there backing him up and making good decisions too. Besides, Isidorus is old and he knows his job really well, and he can kick ass with the best of them.

We rule!

We are so going to be liberated! And we helped! Well, I didn't help, but that wasn't my fault. I was going to help, and then someone prevented me from helping.

Hurray! We're going to be free!

More fun than six vials of Beat mixed with Jolt

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 16:26:16 GMT

Or something.

Poor Faraz. I think I freaked him out inadverently. It looks like he thought I was going with Mom to Mygdalland or something. I don't know what to do with him. I do care for him a lot, but he just seems to... I don't know, shrink or something. It's like he doesn't have any faith in himself at all, so he won't even try to do anything. He's convinced beforehand that he's going to fail, so he doesn't bother.

It's just so damned frustrating sometimes, to watch him just sit there and do nothing! I just wonder if I'll be able to stand it for the long term, and it makes me sad to think like that. I don't want to think things like that about my boyfriend. I want him to be happy, and I want me to be happy, and I don't think either of us really are happy the way things are.

I don't want to break things off or anything. I just... I don't know. It's not fair to expect him to change for me. I just wish he'd see everything I see in him. I can't and shouldn't try to change him. I'll just have to sort of try and lead by example, I guess, and show him that no matter what you think your limitations are, you can achieve anything.

I mean, look at me: a year and a half ago I was failing math, cutting school, and raped by a fucking jerk who was here because he was a social pariah on Mars and his mommy sent him here to get away from his reputation. Now I have good chance at a scholarship to the academy, at a career as a pilot, a job with a solid company (even if they have kind of shady dealings), and I put the jerk who raped me in jail. I hope he's suffering.

I have a lot going for me, and I think he could have the same sort of thing, if he could get out of that weird mindspace he's in, in which he's convinced himself he'll never amount to anything. I don't know who put that stupid notion in his head, but whoever it was, they deserve to be beaten a lot. Really hard.

Anyway, I want to talk to Mom soon. Now that Europe has got their act in gear and is actually here to help us, and the other nations of Second Sphere are probably going to rally 'round us and join them in getting the damned raggies out (you hear that? I'm not screening this entry! Fuckers! Go back where you came from and leave my homeland alone!), I want to have a long talk with her and explain to her why I can't go to Mygdalland with her. Not to live there, anyway.

I want her to know that it's not because I don't love her that I'm not going. Part of me really wants to go with her and Isidorus and Ragna, and watch Magnus grow up and be part of their really huge family over there. But really, I'd only be doing it to make her happy, and I'd be miserable there, and I think ultimately that that would make her unhappy, watching me being unhappy. So we'd all lose out.

I want to explain that to her. Properly. Without it being a big fight. Nary's right about that. I don't know why she got all weird and intense about it, but she's right. Maybe she and Apo lost people in the Sundering, or something. I don't know. But they're right in that I have to do this properly.

I have everything I could possibly want right now. I won't fuck this up.

More stuff to think about...

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 16:28:46 GMT

:::Entry secured six ways from Sunday:::

I wonder if there's any medical help to be had for X. and everyone else. He's going to need a really good mods doctor to get his eye fixed, that's for sure, and if he's had brain damage... the gods only know what sort of rehabilitation he's going to need.

Anyway, it didn't look all that sanitary, what they had going down there. I wonder who I could ask to find a reliable doctor who'd be on our side and willing to help and put himself (or herself, or zirself) on the line for us like that.

Huh. Listen to me, using "us" like I was part of this and shit. Whatever. I still want to help, I guess.

They've reopened limited space travel, too. I guess that's a good sign. Or possibly not. I've become paranoid lately. Maybe in a few months I'll be able to send a message to Ugolina Cavaillon, or whatever her name is now, if she's changed it. Not now, obviously.

I've got way too much to think about these days.

I wish to all the gods the Academy would hurry up and tell me whether or not I'm accepted. At least then I'd know whether I should apply directly to the Eyrie or not.

Everything's changed again...

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 21:05:04 GMT

:::On a fib not connected to the 'Plex, as usual:::

Everything keeps turning itself upside down, over and over and over. I saw Apo, and he told me what he knew about what happened last Sunday. They blew up lots of the raggie ships, and Nary got hurt, and he thought Xavier died.

Except that he didn't. Or maybe he did, but he's not dead anymore. I saw him yesterday, and he's very obviously alive even though he's been badly hurt.

I don't know what to do. I want to try and contact Ugolina, his daughter, when all this mess has blown over, but I don't want to draw any unwanted attention to him right now, not while he's still wounded and vulnerable. I just think he's gone long enough without seeing her, and his family have gone long enough without knowing what happened to him. If I were them, I'd want to know what happened to my father...

Speaking of family, I've decided that I'm going to get a job and move out of Isidorus and Mom's house as soon as I can. I'm fourteen now, and I'm going to be fifteen in a few months. I'll be hearing from the Academy in two or three weeks. Maybe after the attacks it'll take longer. Things have been disrupted a lot lately.

I wonder if Nary's boss would give me a job. I've gotten really good at piloting and all that sort of stuff lately. Plus I'm starting to really know my way around H-Hab. I bet they could use me for a whole lot of things. Otherwise I could just do like all the other kids my age and get a job as a waitress somewhere, or maybe as an intern. I also got to know the ins and outs of the Eyrie pretty well. Maybe I could work in the lower levels of the administration there. That would be pretty cool, and I could still keep up with my flying lessons too.

No matter what happens, though, I have to be totally independent by the time Mom and Isidorus and Ragna leave for Mygdalland. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that I can't depend on anyone for anything anymore.

:::hyperventilates:::

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 02:37:30 GMT

HE'S ALIVE!!!

...

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 23:35:43 GMT

:::Written on a fib not connected to the 'Plex:::

They went without me.

I'm in the dark. I have no idea what happened. Apo and Nary could be dead. Xavier could be dead. They could all be gone. I don't know where they are. I have no idea.

They left me behind.

Xavier went back on his word, and now I don't know what's going on, nor who to trust, and all I have are reports of maybe hundreds of deaths, and maybe all my friends are gone, sacrificed in vain because the Austronesians were too strong.

Or maybe it all went brilliantly and the Austronesians are doing damage control.

I have no way of knowing.

God, I hate this. I want to know what happened. I need to know.

If something's happened to them, someone needs to tell their families...

Even more complications

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 01:55:36 GMT

Just when I thought my life was complicated enough, although I won't say anything about that in here, even if it is encrypted six way to Sunday, Mom springs all this on me.

It's nice of them to let me give the baby his middle name. I'll have to think of something splash that won't get him teased at school.

But... Mygdalland? I thought we'd finished with that crap. I thought we'd sent Stel packing, and we were going to stay here and maybe visit Ragna and Syta every so often. Now even Isidorus has turned against me. I never thought he'd agree to move there.

I want to stay here. I never wanted to go to a place that wasn't my home, full of people I don't know and who speak a language I barely understand. My friends are here. My boyfriend is here. My studies are here. My career is here. Everything I love is here, except my family.

So how do I tell Mom that I can't be with my family in order to be fulfilled?

I don't want my baby brother to grow up without ever knowing me, but I can't just throw all my dreams away to follow my mother's fantasies of a home life she probably never had and very likely never will have. The Mygdallers won't ever completely accept Isidorus, and we'd always be outsiders, with one foot on either side of the invisible barrier between the cultures.

I'm a Perseite, and that's an end to it. I can't change my identity just like that. I won't.

Oh my gods...

Sat, 18 Dec 2004 03:48:29 GMT

:::Written by hand on a paper that looks as though being written on in this fashion probably wasn't its primary purpose in life. The paper is folded in quarters and wedged carefully under a corner of the carpeting in Margot's closet.:::

I'm not used to writing stuff down on paper like this, but somehow it didn't seem safe even to write what I have to say in that fib that I've disconnected from the 'Plex. I don't have a paper journal or anything like that, though, and I think Isidorus would think it was weird if I asked for one, and it would look odd if I went out and bought one, especially because I'm his stepdaughter and everything.

Anyway, I saw X today, and there's this huge plan in the works. I mean, really huge. I'm getting really paranoid, I guess, I don't even want to say what it is writing it down on paper, just in case someone finds it.

But I'm going to be helping. I'm finally going to be doing something useful, something productive, something other than sitting around and being Isidorus Bhayani's stepdaughter, doing busywork and listening to people making impassioned speeches about protecting our freedom. I'm going to be taking an active role in getting the damed Raggies the hell out of my home.

I can hardly wait to tell A that I'll be joining him. I hope he'll be pleased. X sort of gave me a promotion. He said that I wasn't his charge anymore, but that I could be his sidekick. The old guy may be frooked, but he's pretty splash anyway.

I'm running out of paper. I wonder if I can buy some somewhere. Mostly I think I'll stick to my fib. Maybe I can encrypt the entries better. I remember one of the leaders (no naming names) said he had some newer encryption programs for sending communications, so I bet I could use the code from that as a base. Journal entries aren't nearly so hard, after all.

Back to square one, sort of...

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 17:18:11 GMT

:::As always, on a secure fib:::

Margot is sitting on her bed, hugging her knees to her chest, her hair falling over her shoulders, chin resting on her knees, looking thoughtful. She's dressed in grey flanneloid pajamas, with white socks. She wriggles her toes, staring at her feet as she talks.

Mom isn't really talking to me anymore.

I guess I'm not talking to her, either.

We're back where we started. She doesn't understand, doesn't want to understand, and I don't know how to try to make her see. I think, in a way, Isidorus understands better, but he's taking her side anyway, because he's married to her.

At least now I'm sneaking out for better reasons than to go out partying and to do pharms and whatever.

Mom's unhappy, I can tell. Maybe it's the baby. She's all anxious and whatever, and the baby made her feel sick for a really long time. I haven't been around much, what with school and gymnastics and, well, sneaking out to join the resistance, so maybe she's still feeling sick.

I don't know.

I'm going to go see Rose and Xavier as soon as I can. I want things to go back to the way they were as soon as possible.

I hate all this.

People are dying...

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 13:27:03 GMT

:::Written on a fib not connected to the 'Plex:::

They're killing pacifists.

Maybe now people will wake up and realize how bad things really are. Maybe now they'll start resisting more actively, instead of just sitting back and hoping for the best. The Austronesians aren't going to be reasonable about this.

Any form of open, peaceful protest will be met with swift brutal opposition. It'll be crushed right away and then swept under the carpet, covered up to make the Austronesians look good and the protesters look like armed troublemakers looking for a fight.

Everyone knows Tengrists are pacifists who don't believe in anything but attaining higher spiritual levels through sex and pharms. Sure they're a little frooked, but they never hurt anyone. It was all about pleasure and spirituality.

Now they're killing them and throwing them into jail without so much as a trial.

I hope this makes people realize what's really going on.

Xavier Cavaillon is planning something big. I don't know exactly what, but I know it's big, and I know it's happening soon, and I for one don't plan on being left out.

The bright side

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 00:48:50 GMT

:::Encrypted Entry:::

I am dating the sexiest revolutionary ever. Faraz was pretty enthusiastic about coming on board with us, so that's a step in the right direction.

I totally got to have my way with him, too. He makes a very good "brave resistance spy being tortured by an evil Austronesian interrogator." I think Mom was right about him not having any experience before, but he was pretty good, all things considered. A few pharms helped out, too. At least he knows his way around those pretty well. So even if the first time was a bit, umm, quick, at least he could keep going until we were both happy.

^_^

...

I keep thinking that I should invite Tse-3 to 'Rose's movement, but things are so weird with him right now, I don't know how he'd take it. I don't even know if he really wants to talk to me. He gets all uncomfortable and weird and passive-aggressive, and I just don't know how to deal with that.

I wish he'd just come out and tell me what's bothering him. He can't possibly still have a crush on me after all this time. Maybe I should introduce him to a girl. A quiet, computer-'vert kind of girl who won't intimidate him. He gets all tongue-tied around girls anyway.

Hmm...

Maybe he'd like a boy? I dunno. I don't think so, somehow. He never struck me as bi. Still, that's not really a reason to assume he's only into girls.

I have no idea how I got onto this tangent.

I suppose I'll have to play all of this by ear.

Resistance stuff

Sun, 07 Nov 2004 23:47:52 GMT

:::Encrypted Entry:::

Everyone seems to be pretty keen on this whole resistance deal. Everyone except Mom, that is. Once again, I find myself in the unenviable position of being completely misunderstood by my mother.

Well, I kept up my end of the bargain. I talked with her, and she didn't explicitly forbid me from helping, so I'm going to help. It isn't my fault if she and Isidorus are ganging up on me about this. I'll just have to go back to the way it was before, I guess.

Great. Now I have to hide from the Austronesians and my parents. Then again, if given the choice, I'd rather be spaced than have to go through another one of those fights.

I'm beginning to think I need to somehow find people with experience with this kind of thing. The meeting at 'Rose's today was fine and all, but I get the feeling that she doesn't know what she's doing any more than the rest of us do. She's just stumbling along blindly without knowing which targets we should aim for or how we should go about things. Right now all she has is twelve secure fibs, eight field disruption generators, or whatever they're called, four stun pistols, and no plan.

I don't have anything better to offer right now, but I think we need someone who knows what they're doing.

Actually, I thought of Xavier Cavaillon the other day, when I was talking to Apo. Apo also wants to help out, although I think he's at sea about this too. So we went and found him, Xavier, that is, and he introduced us to another "hero" as he calls them. This frooked kind of guy named Gadaquali. The name sounds really familiar, but I'd never seen that 'vert before in my life. I'll have to look him up on the 'Plex later.

Anyway, both he and Xavier went on and on about their mission and the future and about how everything that's going to happen has already been written or something. I didn't really understand what they were driving at, but they both seem like they're willing to give us help. I just don't know how they're planning to do that. I was hoping Xavier would be able to show us some good hideaways and stuff for meetings and for stashing weapons, once we get some.

I have no idea how this is all going to turn out. I also really hope that this encryption is complex enough. I figure that it is, since it's one of Tse-3's inventions, but you really never know these days.

Everything's changing...

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 00:45:09 GMT

Margot has taken pains to encrypt her entries, hoping that the Austronesian government has better things to do with their time than crack the diaries of teenaged girls.

The fucking Austronesians have invaded Perseity. They took away Mom's job and Isidorus' job, and they've fucked everything up on the colony. Nothing is the same anymore. I don't think I've ever been this terrified. I don't know what they're going to do, if they're going to decide that Isidorus is a security risk or something and throw him in jail, or maybe they'll even come after Mom.

They're going to keep changing things until none of us recognizes Perseity anymore, and maybe they're going to do it so subtly that no one'll remember what it was like to be free or anything by the time they're done. They've already started making changes at the Academy. I bet they're going to start censoring everything we study, everything we're allowed to read and write.

I don't want to live like this. I have to figure out what I can do in all of this. I'm one person, but I've read enough history to know what happens when enough people decide to take a stand in situations like this. The sooner we begin to act, the sooner we can get rid of these freaks.

I suppose I should send a fib to Symphorose about this. She's the most likely person to know if there's something already being prepared.

I want to talk to Faraz, too. I haven't heard from him in days, and I'm worried. I hope he's okay. Him and his family. I don't know what his country's relationship is with Austronesia.

Oh my gods...

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 12:04:34 GMT

Vin Datini's been arrested!

That is so totally frooked. To think Hugues was studying under a terrorist! Well, a suspected terrorist, I should say, in all fairness.

Still, the CC and the Comitatus know what they're doing, so they must have pretty good evidence against him. I wonder why he did it? I watched some of his interviews and stuff so I'd know who Hugues was studying with, and he never struck me as really radical.

Then again, he always was around where terrorist attacks took place. It would make sense, in a twisted way. After all, what makes better news than terrorist attacks? >_< That doesn't even bear thinking about. If he did that, that would make him even more evil and dangerous than Murtuma. Totally sociopathic.

He didn't seem like the type when we spoke. Just a condescending blowhard. I guess appearances can be deceiving. I wonder how Hugues is taking the news?

Okay, I promised myself I wouldn't think about Hugues.

Still. Just when you think you know someone... I never really did know him, though, did I? Only what Hugues told me, and my first and only impression of him when we talked.

Weird...

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 21:06:36 GMT

I just spent part of the afternoon with Madeleine. Yeah, you read right: Madeleine Duvernois.

After failing to respond to my invitation to my party, suddenly she fibs me out of the blue, and we went out for coffee. No major revelations or anything, but it was kind of frooked anyway.

She's going into politics at the Academy, at her parents' instigation. I keep hearing about all these kids who're studying what their parents want them to study, and I wonder if maybe Mom isn't some kind of mutant for not forcing me to do something she wants me to do. Don't get me wrong: I'm really glad about that. Still, she seems like the only grown-up around who isn't trying to impose something on her kids. Maybe it'll be different with my kid brother, but I doubt it.

Turns out Madeleine had a boyfriend from Savoia who broke up with her because he was going to the Academy. Loser. I don't get boys sometimes. Why dump a perfectly nice girl like Madeleine just because you're going to the Academy? Maybe it's some sort of male ritual, break up with your girlfriend just before orientation or something. :P

I wonder if there's more going on with Madeleine than she let on.

Speaking of people I haven't seen in a long time, and of weirdness, I haven't heard from Xavier Cavaillon in a while. I wonder if he's doing okay, or what.

I have this thought that maybe I should contact his family back in Savoia, but I don't know if that would do more harm than good. They probably think he's dead, and maybe it would be better for them to keep thinking that. Then again, maybe they'd want to know the truth. Whatever the truth is. I don't know why he suddenly lost his mind. Maybe he has TID or something.

I guess I'll fib Apo and ask him what he thinks. That seems like the best plan right now.

A weird sort of anniversary, I guess

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 16:39:44 GMT

I suppose I should have written about this yesterday, since that was the official anniversary. But I guess today is as good as any.

It's been one year exactly since Tyrel Delamarche raped me.

It's been a year, and I'm still here. I can't believe how angry I still am about that. He took so much away from me... I'm still scared and angry and... I don't know.

But I survived. I'm still here, and there's no way I'm going to let him win.

I hope the fucker's still rotting.

More family complications

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 16:36:43 GMT

I keep forgetting to write about this, but it's important, so I feel it should be recorded for posterity, if only for my own benefit.

Anyway, I met up with Theon over our lunch break last week. Turns out his parents are getting divorced, and he's really upset about it. I can't blame him, really. Having your parents arguing all the time can't be all that much fun.

He thinks they don't care about him anymore, which I suppose is the worst part. I guess they don't realize how much this is affecting him, 'cause they're too caught up in their own problems. Grown-ups can be so dense sometimes. >_<

Anyway, Theon told me they'd been arguing about the Cyesthetics, and that his father was a member. I already knew he was, of course, but I wasn't about to tell him that. Not yet. That's when things went pretty much awry. Turns out they were arguing about Mom, and that got Theon to wondering about things. He's perceptive, in a way, but I guess it was too hard for him to even consider the possibility that he might not be his parents' biological child.

I told him the truth, because he asked me. I don't know if it was the right decision. He cried really hard, and I couldn't really comfort him, even though I told him how much his parents love him, and that Mom was happy that he was with people who loved him so much. I think it was too much for him to take, with the divorce and all. I hope he's better now.

I wish his parents had told him. I wish I hadn't been the one to tell him. I don't know what's happened to me in the last year or so. Somewhere along the way I seem to have given up lying almost entirely. It just seems to complicate my life. I don't know. The truth might be painful, but it's less painful to find out right away than to discover someone's been lying to you for years.

Poor Theon. I hope he'll be allowed to come over if he wants.